Sister Sage's Musings

Archive for the ‘Saturday Nite Funnies’ Category

Somebody tweeted this morning that an MP wanted to change the Canadian flag because of some poll  in South America said that the maple leaf looked like a pot plant.  I’m not sure if she meant John McKay, who is one of the more conservative Liberal MPs though. I did some research and couldn’t find a Canadian federal MP by the name of Ian McKay, but I could be wrong.  In fact, I couldn’t find any stories or articles pertaining to this, but then again, given the outlandish excuses the Harpercons give for their actions, nothing would surprise me anymore. If anybody knows or has heard about any of this, please share in comments, which is now back up and running, by the by.

True or not, I once again became inspired after a lengthy hiatus from my satirical art and created what I think would be Master Steve’s vision for the new Canadian flag. And kids, it’s not recognizable; just like the way he’s turning Canada. No more red! Can’t have that! That’s a Liberal party colour; the same colour that represents communism, like red China.   Anyhow,  enjoy!

Damn! Perhaps I should have drawn the rectangle to shape the flag! Oh well!

It  would stand to reason that if the maple leaf  was the main reason for changing the flag, then the maple leaf inside the big blue ‘c’ would have to go too.

Happy Saturday Night!

Well boys n’ girls, it seems that some Christian (would there be any other?) publisher, Zondervan is going to publish yet another Sawah Palin biography.  The same publishers who are also doing work for fetus fetishist Tim Tebow and Bono (what a sell out!!). It will be titled: “Speaking Up: The Sarah Palin Story”. Even the title lacks originality. The typical title of a bad tv movie of the week.

She speaks of how God supposedly opened her heart to being ready to have a baby with Trisomy 21 (the new proper term for Down’s syndrome; Downs is now a derogatory term; shows how low of an opinion she really has of her kid).

Uh oh! Looky here! There could be a little snafu!

The biography by Grand Rapids, Mich.-based Zondervan is unauthorized. Author Kim Washburn said she was unable to interview Palin and didn’t speak with anyone close to her.

A Palin aide did not immediately respond to a message seeking comment Friday.

Washburn said she researched previously published material, including Palin’s best-selling memoir, “Going Rogue: An American Life,” and news articles, many of which Washburn said were “really polarized” and complicated her efforts to focus more on the personal side of Palin than on the political side.

Well! Well! Well! As I said, “Going Rogue” seemed to be a Kiddie book, boys n’ girls. Remember awhile back, before “Going Rogue” was released and many of us speculated as to the ‘contents’ of the book? Your humble scribe took a crack at it back then when we were still at blogspot.  All we have to do here is copy and paste. That is more than likely what Zondervan is going to do anyway, given the lack of originality most of these Christian publishers seem to be plagued with. I’m going to copy and paste my old version at Blogspot here too.

Hello, boys & girls; let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, I lived in a little town called Wasilla, Alaska. You know where that is: you can see Russian from the front porch!
I was the prettiest girl in all the land. So pretty, I won the Miss Wasilla pageant. But then, something terrible happened. I wasn’t the prettiest girl in Alaska. Two other girls were prettier than me. NOT FAIR!!
I went to…lesseee….(counting on her fingers) …..5; yeah! 5 colleges. I flunked out of the other 4 because I couldn’t spell the school names correctly. But I did it!! In only 6 years too!!
I went on TV to do a show about sports.
I married a prince named Todd.
I like guns & nobody better take mine away! I like to hunt & ride my snowmobile… the bigger, the more pollution, the better! YAY!!
I eat moose hamburgers…vegetarians are villains!
I have 5 children.
My oldest girl, Bristol is a verrrry bad girl! She went out out with a bad boy named Levi & they made a baby! They sinned! Will God forgive us all?
I met an old man named John McCain. He asked me to be vice-president!
Oh, & let me teach you something: The difference between a hockey mom & a pit-bull is lipstick!
I learned about a big store called Niemen Marcus. It was fun!
Some bad people bothered me.
Some mean French radio hosts from…uh lessee now…uh…I think….Montreal played a mean trick on me. They pretended to be the president of France. How was I supposed to to know the president of France didn’t speak English?
There was a mean lady called Tina Fey. She was jealous of me, so she pretended to be me.
Then we lost to a very bad man named Barack Hussein Obama.
John McCain wasn’t very nice to me no more: he wouldn’t even let me talk on TV.
Some bad people came to Alaska to take away all my new princess clothes.
More bad people bothered me.
Levi the bad boy who took my little girl’s innocence away told bad things about me to a magazine.
More bad people bothered me. I couldn’t be governor no more…too many bad people. …
Bad Barack Obama wants to set up a death panel so everybody in all the land can get free health care.
I want to be president to rule the world 2012. Yeah, I’ll show ‘em. I’ll show all these mean people who bothered me & teased me.
That, boys & girls is how we live a good life. Go to a Protestant church;  eat wild meat, don’t eat vegetables, don’t touch each other.  Polar bears are not part of the endangered species list. Always remember your fwend, Sawah Pawin.

The end

Well, kids, nothin’ to it.

Oh, and one more thing; the very idea of Bristol Palin earning 30 000$ a speech to preach the sanctity of abstinence and the struggles of single parenthood is nothing short of an absolute travesty; especially when she hasn’t a clue as to the actual hardships of single parents who live in the real world face every single day.

Furthermore, baby daddy Levi is posing nude for Playgirl and some other porn magazines. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; more power to him. But, Bristol shouldn’t attach herself to anything Christian, given those circumstances. Just sayin’.

This is good for some Saturday nite laughs!

Here’s the ‘love song’. Someone on Twitter asked me if the Tea-baggers would actually take this song seriously.  My answer was, of course, yes, damn straight they would!

Oh looky here! Yes, it’s being circulated around.  Many intelligent captions in the column’s comments section. More commentary here. Also, being circulated on Twitter and Facebook.  Now what comes to mind when you first look at this?

Well, it does scream that his tabby cat has rejected him.  Or hell! Even his imaginary friends don’t like playing with him.

Yet, like any other photo of Steve, it just resonates cheesy. And now, unfortunately, I’ve got a matching cheesy song in my head now!!!

Aarrgghh!! Get outy! outy! outy!  What’s worse is I think this would be  Brother Steve’s favourite kind of music…next to elevator music  that is!

Now I’ve got to turn on my folky hippie music to get all that cheesiness out of my head. Perhaps I need another cheesy earworm. Neil Sedaka or Nickelback anyone?

I came across a series of these Mr Show sketches. I was living down river at the time and had no cable so…I obviously missed a lot of tv shows at the time. Apparently, I never missed much, but some of these sketches are funny.

Anyway, I want to post some videos that are still making me giggle.

Enjoy!

I found this one particularly funny.  Confused?

Happy Friday Nite!

I thought with all that frightening religious right talk  this week, we deserve a break on this fine Friday nite.

Those Gen-Xers who followed Saturday Nite Live in the ’80s, would have remembered Dana Carvey and all of his characters. My favourite was the Church Lady. No matter which star she’s on with or what is happening, it was always a knee slapper.

It was so hard to choose videos.   But here are some selections.  The first one is a definitely a keeper with Jim and Tammy-Faye Baker following their scandals and being booted off the PTL.

The next one has variety: Danny DeVito getting one over the Church lady, Anne Landers discussing pre-marital sex and Church Lady allowing herself to be touched by Willie Nelson.

How about this keeper with a drunk and ‘Father’ Chevy Chase

This last one  is with Sean Penn while he and an Iranian are guests of the church lady and needless to say, no one particularly likes each other to say the least.

I hope you enjoy this trip down memory lane.

Happy Friday Nite all!

Well, I did the nostalgic music thing last nite and haven’t done funnies in awhile. So, sticking to the theme at hand (I know, I’m shameless…).  How’s about some videos of the ‘finer’ moments of Hurricane Helena’s career??

Helena “the Bong girl” takes skiing lessons from Rick Mercer

Here’s a Good from A Creative Revolution: Math ain’t the only thing that’s hard for her it seems…

Oh, Helena, maybe you better breath now!

I'm going to hold my breath until we can separate from the east coast...

Happy Saturday Nite All!

Sorry, but for those who thought this posting was going to be my cents into the whole Stevie answering questions on Youtube, well, you’ve just been punked as ol’ Ashton Kutcher would say…at least in part.

I will say this though, I’m still trying to submit a question and for whatever reasons, my questions keep getting rejected on that site. It figures, St-Stevie doesn’t like press conferences, because he can’t control the agenda, and as well all know, Steve only thrives when he controls the agenda, so, when Dmitri Soudas and St-Stevie’s other flunkies of their techno-geek flunkies go over the questions, don’t count on the most voted for to be selected, count on only easy questions, so that would mean the wanker set pushing Steve to Americanize what’s left of our universal health care system or to restrict abortion or to adapt life sentences for marijuana posession will probably be disappointed as he won’t touch upon them as long as he is in election campaign mode. However, do go to the site and vote up or down the questions over there, and if you wish to try, post a question of your own. Dylan over at Right of Center Ice and Alison over at The Galloping Beaver posed some of the bigger doozies for questions and of course the winning theme amongst the Youtube crowd, Legalizing marijuana!

There, my two cents…

Now, on to Stevie Youtubed…  How’s about some Saturday afternoon cartoons? They’re somewhat dated, but, as you all know, sometimes what’s old is new again.  One of them even stars Ashton Kutcher, actually.

Here’s to “chest cold removers”

Holy Water–the new truth serum

I wonder if anyone can give St-Stevie some of that “holy water” at Question Period, Press Conferences, C-Pac, etc..?

The Two above videos courtesy of Tbonepearson

Lesson of the day for Stevie? He needs more fibre! Brown Toast!

Hey, that’s one catchy tune! I wonder if we can find some equally catchy lyrics, that this could be our new national anthem?

This last video courtesy of Gatsonratz

Happy Saturday All!

Folks are tweeting about this this fine evening. According to World wingnut Daily, the reincarnated Gabor is indeed considering running for Secretary of State in California. Well, I guess no one should be surprised. After all, if See Sawah run can be President of the U.S., why shouldn’t Orly become Secretary of State of California? In fact, she’s not aiming high enough: she should be Secretary of state in the U.S.!! Kissinger did it.

Oh yeah! Imagine: President See Sawah run; VP Michelle Bachman and Secretary of State Taitz (whaddyano!! It rhymes! Wow! Who knew!); the sexist wingnut sistahs!! Les also add Ann Coulter as…well…I’ll leave that to your imagination

Apparently, Orly has trouble even filling out the simplest of forms!

The pic of the form is courtesy of  Ms Daisy of Crazy Internet People

It seems that See Sawah run can now add Stand-up comedy to her resume after appearing on the Jay Leno show. Man! She is that renaissance woman, ain’t she?  Mayor of Wasilla, Failed vice-presidential candidate, failed governor, motivational speaker, ‘Author’,Fox News Starlet, comedienne, potential presidential candidate and of course, Sistah tea-bagger extraordinaire.

Remember Ann Coulter saying how she wanted Jews to be “perfected”? Well, how’s about perfecting Ann Coulter? The image below from maxim.com has some good ideas on how that can be accomplished.

Ann Coulter Suggested Improvements --from Maxim.com

The Sistah-hood needs some help, me thinks.

Happy Saturday Nite all!

I was orignally trying to find a confirmation of the latest the wankiest thing Orly Taitz has come up  with to day.

that is all over Twitter about everyone’s favourite Bither queen,  the Gabor missing link. Unfortunately, couldn’t find anything confirming it, but I found something else a propos for tonight given Helean Guergis’s temper tantrum at the Charlottetown airport.

I caught this over at Huffington Post Comedy. Yes, ways to entertain one’s self while stranded at an airport, enduring a flight delay.

Ok, maybe we don’t want her highness driving, even if it is fake at such slow speeds on a baggage carousel.

The video below is a bit dated, it gives a new take on airport security. Although, I don’t think anyone should have to see Princess Helena wearing simply a plastic bag, although, it does save the trouble of that newfangled scanner.

There are plenty more videos with suggestions here