I Thought Sawah’s “Going Rogue” Was A Children’s Book

Well boys n’ girls, it seems that some Christian (would there be any other?) publisher, Zondervan is going to publish yet another Sawah Palin biography.  The same publishers who are also doing work for fetus fetishist Tim Tebow and Bono (what a sell out!!). It will be titled: “Speaking Up: The Sarah Palin Story”. Even the title lacks originality. The typical title of a bad tv movie of the week.

She speaks of how God supposedly opened her heart to being ready to have a baby with Trisomy 21 (the new proper term for Down’s syndrome; Downs is now a derogatory term; shows how low of an opinion she really has of her kid).

Uh oh! Looky here! There could be a little snafu!

The biography by Grand Rapids, Mich.-based Zondervan is unauthorized. Author Kim Washburn said she was unable to interview Palin and didn’t speak with anyone close to her.

A Palin aide did not immediately respond to a message seeking comment Friday.

Washburn said she researched previously published material, including Palin’s best-selling memoir, “Going Rogue: An American Life,” and news articles, many of which Washburn said were “really polarized” and complicated her efforts to focus more on the personal side of Palin than on the political side.

Well! Well! Well! As I said, “Going Rogue” seemed to be a Kiddie book, boys n’ girls. Remember awhile back, before “Going Rogue” was released and many of us speculated as to the ‘contents’ of the book? Your humble scribe took a crack at it back then when we were still at blogspot.  All we have to do here is copy and paste. That is more than likely what Zondervan is going to do anyway, given the lack of originality most of these Christian publishers seem to be plagued with. I’m going to copy and paste my old version at Blogspot here too.

Hello, boys & girls; let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, I lived in a little town called Wasilla, Alaska. You know where that is: you can see Russian from the front porch!
I was the prettiest girl in all the land. So pretty, I won the Miss Wasilla pageant. But then, something terrible happened. I wasn’t the prettiest girl in Alaska. Two other girls were prettier than me. NOT FAIR!!
I went to…lesseee….(counting on her fingers) …..5; yeah! 5 colleges. I flunked out of the other 4 because I couldn’t spell the school names correctly. But I did it!! In only 6 years too!!
I went on TV to do a show about sports.
I married a prince named Todd.
I like guns & nobody better take mine away! I like to hunt & ride my snowmobile… the bigger, the more pollution, the better! YAY!!
I eat moose hamburgers…vegetarians are villains!
I have 5 children.
My oldest girl, Bristol is a verrrry bad girl! She went out out with a bad boy named Levi & they made a baby! They sinned! Will God forgive us all?
I met an old man named John McCain. He asked me to be vice-president!
Oh, & let me teach you something: The difference between a hockey mom & a pit-bull is lipstick!
I learned about a big store called Niemen Marcus. It was fun!
Some bad people bothered me.
Some mean French radio hosts from…uh lessee now…uh…I think….Montreal played a mean trick on me. They pretended to be the president of France. How was I supposed to to know the president of France didn’t speak English?
There was a mean lady called Tina Fey. She was jealous of me, so she pretended to be me.
Then we lost to a very bad man named Barack Hussein Obama.
John McCain wasn’t very nice to me no more: he wouldn’t even let me talk on TV.
Some bad people came to Alaska to take away all my new princess clothes.
More bad people bothered me.
Levi the bad boy who took my little girl’s innocence away told bad things about me to a magazine.
More bad people bothered me. I couldn’t be governor no more…too many bad people. …
Bad Barack Obama wants to set up a death panel so everybody in all the land can get free health care.
I want to be president to rule the world 2012. Yeah, I’ll show ‘em. I’ll show all these mean people who bothered me & teased me.
That, boys & girls is how we live a good life. Go to a Protestant church;  eat wild meat, don’t eat vegetables, don’t touch each other.  Polar bears are not part of the endangered species list. Always remember your fwend, Sawah Pawin.

The end

Well, kids, nothin’ to it.

Oh, and one more thing; the very idea of Bristol Palin earning 30 000$ a speech to preach the sanctity of abstinence and the struggles of single parenthood is nothing short of an absolute travesty; especially when she hasn’t a clue as to the actual hardships of single parents who live in the real world face every single day.

Furthermore, baby daddy Levi is posing nude for Playgirl and some other porn magazines. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; more power to him. But, Bristol shouldn’t attach herself to anything Christian, given those circumstances. Just sayin’.