A Harpercon Fundraising Letter With Same Old Tired Arguments

Indeed. I found this letter over at Susan Delacourt’s blog. We should be amused at this letter, the arguments are just that tired and old and seriously, just don’t reflect today’s reality and in all likelihood, shouldn’t deflect an angry base from why they’re pissed with the Harpercons-the abolition of the census.  It smacks of desperation. In spite of the best efforts of  Sun Media, Natty Po, Blogging SupposiTories and other Harpercon cheerleaders, the Liberal bus tour is getting positive response and Master Steve is worried and it appears to show more and more.

Here is the letter with the feeble arguments that should be scaring us …or amusing us…

Sent: Fri, July 30, 2010 4:11:33 PM

 Subject: Getting things done. 

Getting things done… In English |  Friday, July 30, 2010

 Dear XXXX, 

The “dog days of summer” are with us, and Michael Ignatieff’s “Just Visiting Express” is making its way across the country. It’s clear Ignatieff is on the road for one reason only…to improve his image. He is desperately trying to change his image from elitist visiting professor to man of the people. 

But while the Liberal leader grasps at style, your Conservative Government is focused on getting things done. We’re working hard to bring prosperity, security, and a bright future for Canadians through our efforts at home and abroad. In recent weeks we’ve announced: Investments to deliver our armed forces with the tools they need to get the job done overseas. Agreements with the US, strengthening our commitment to open borders and free markets with our largest trading partner. Strategic investments in research facilities and equipment at colleges and polytechnic institutes across Canada. Improvements to our security by imposing increased sanctions against Iran. Re-affirmed support for abolishing the long-gun registry. The launch of a review of affirmative action hiring practices to ensure federal hiring is fair. Continued strategic investments across the country to create jobs now, and jobs for the future. 

While Mr. Ignatieff continues his awkward pursuit of photo ops, Prime Minister Stephen Harper continues his solid leadership. His steady hand has already brought us through an economic crisis that swept the entire world. His continued leadership means a united Canada with low taxes, freedom, and prosperity at home and a higher standing in the international community. 

The alternative is almost too scary to think about-a Coalition government in Ottawa. Canada would be put in the hands of socialists, separatists, and Liberals, “led” by a visiting professor after 34 years away. Meddling government, high taxes, and weak leadership would be just the beginning. There’s only one way to prevent this nightmare from becoming reality-a Conservative majority government. And there’s only one way that this can happen-through the support of Canadians like you. The stakes are high and your help is crucial. Please, make a contribution of $200 or $100 right now by following this link. Your support is greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Irving R. Gerstein, C.M., O.Ont. Chair, Conservative Fund Canada Conservative Party of Canada 1204-130 Albert Street, Ottawa, ON K1P 5G4

I thought it needed some work so I took the liberty of reworking it some:

Dear XXXX,

Here we are in the middle of summer and the Liberals are out travelling across Canada meeting average Canadians, you know, the kind we just don’t care to listen to?  That’s the real reason why we axed the mandatory long form census, you know. 

It looks like that Ignatieff is here to stay, so we can’t use the “Just visiting” ads anymore and we’re running out of ideas for attack ads, so we’re hoping we can continue using the old ones and that Canadians will be gullible enough to still fall for them.

Yes, that Ignatieff, he’s going to form a coalition with the Russians and the Chinese!  Can’t you all see what a traitor he is!  You can’t trust a guy with one eye-brow!

Yes, we’re going to raise your taxes, but look at it this way, your tax dollars won’t go on those wimpy social programs that are a total drain on Canadian society like health care, pensions ane employment insurance.  No, no,  we still have to pay off the G20 police for doing such a bang up job for removing all those hooligans, thugs and anarchists and breaking  down that spirit of defiance.   How dare they show disrespect toward their king!  W

We also have to pay for those beautiful shiny new fighter bombers so we can be at war alongside our betters, the United States of America.

I will also need to hike taxes to push other items on our conservative agenda to make Canada a respectable place.

Speaking of  our superiors, the Americans, we need to be more respectful of  our superior friends, the Americans, better free trade with them, that means, we give them the keys to Canada. I know what you’re thinking,  but that Kenyan Marxist won’t be in charge for long. Soon enough, the Alaskan beauty queen will be in charge and gentlemen, she has legs to boot! Whooeee!

And yes, remember those pesky polling stations that would open up in your communities where you would have to fill a ballot about every four years? That thing Canadians scream about not wanting to go? Well,  a Harpercon government will put a stop to that wasteful excercise. Who needs it?  Only an election when  the king dies or gets tired.

Only King Stephen can keep you safe from the Communist Muslim boogie men that hide under your bed, and yes, they are hiding under your beds and in your closets..  That’s why he wants to scrap gun control.  We get rid of the long gun registry to start and then proceeding to get rid of gun control will be that much easier!  The liberals want you to adopt them as pets.

Not to mention, only a Harpercon government can get crime back down the way it was before 1862.  In fact only a Harpercon government can bring life back the way it was before 1862. No abortions, when women were barefoot and pregnant and simply squatted in the fields to give birth and the kids didn’t do anything blasphemous like go to school, they worked on the farm. Let’s bring those good ol’ days back.

Protect Canada from anymore progress! Let’s go back to the  good ol’ days when blacks were kept in their places and ignorance was bliss! Donate now, or that Russian  one eye-browed spy is going to further corrupt Canada!

Remember what happened when Eve ate the apple! We’ve seen the evil it causes when our children are taught things like math, science and languages.

HELP NOW!

See? That was easy.

On a serious note though, due to the media being mostly slanted to the right, will those tired old “just visiting” and “coalition with the separatists and socialists”  attack ads still win out in the end? Sadly,  given that many are content to not think for themselves and allow the likes of Natty Po and Sun Media do their thinking for them, that could well happen.