What Needs To Happen In The French Debate This Fine Evening

Tonight’s French language debate will no doubt have much fewer viewers outside of Quebec, but there are many Francophones in the rest of Canada who will probably tune in as well. Not to mention, the punditry will all be out observing with the help of translators no doubt and there will be the media types who will be reviewing them afterward, particularly if anyone really flops. Specifically, if Duceppe or Iggy flop.

To many viewers, body language is most of the game. Stevie Spiteful, in addition to looking obviously stoned,  he remained fixated on the camera.  I think that was his secret. As long as he wasn’t looking at anyone else and looking only into the camera, he could remain in his bubble; his comfort zone.  Opposition leaders, take notes. Get Steve out of the comfort zone. Get him to look away from the camera.  That will throw him off.  Presumably, the French language debate will use the same format with each of the leaders leaving the sanctuary of their podiums and going to the middle of the room for one on one face offs. Well, opposition, it’s really easy! When it’s your turn to face Steve, make him move. Step, shuffle, get in his face, wave hands, rapid movements.  Yes, there are discrete ways of doing it. Slight movements.  It will be entertaining to the viewer with a short attention span. Pretend it’s hockey in suits with no ice and no sticks.  Early in the debate, Gilles Duceppe had the right idea, leaning in, and looking like he was ready to pounce.

I don’t need to mention that Duceppe has the obvious advantage here, given this debate is in his mother tongue.  Talk fast. Use words Stevie probably wouldn’t get.   Please do not bring up Bill 101 again, unless, of course, Steve attempts to dazzle all with promises of fighting to get rid of it, although, I find that highly unlikely. He would’ve done that last night instead.

Again, please, as much as possible, gang up on Stevie Spiteful, this sniping at each other is counterproductive.  Concentrate on getting Stevie out of his comfort zone.  The French viewers as a rule, are not as scared of the evul coalition as Anglo Canada.

Duceppe last night brought up abortion and capital punishment, see if he can’t do it again in greater detail. Quebeckers as a rule are more anti-capital punishment and pro-choice than the rest of Canada. Hell, I’d ask him if he’d scrub the same sex marriage legislation.

Many, including Babs Kay this morning, really believe that Quebec will have far stronger representation under a Harpercon majority and no more Bloc Quebecois. What would Quebecois expect from a Harpercon majority? I expect the shortest end of the stick and serving as nothing more than the rest of Canada’s favourite whipping boy.  Those 11 incumbents have been nothing more than yes men to Stevie.

Iggy, you gotta be more crass, get down more in the gutter with Stevie. He’s all robotic and stoned.  Get in his face more. Be more animated.  I hope you’ve learned the fine art of Quebecois Joual. 

And most of all, clearly, Stevie will be demanding his majority. This is his achilles heel I wish they played more with.  It was obvious after that guy from Newfoundland asked about whether or not a minority would or could work together, Steve almost slipped.  Make sure he does slip on that banana peel.

Last night wasn’t great and that’s where the most impressions had to be made, but try to salvage something out of this tonight.  Let’s try to put Stevie the chess player in “checkmate”.