Five reasons Jenni Byrne deserves the Diamond Jubilee medal

Love How That Crush Paid Off

Hey you freaky progs, give Ms. Byrne a break. The honorable, ethical Jenni does so deserve her medal for “making a significant contribution to a particular province, territory, region or community within Canada, or an achievement abroad that brings credit to Canada.” Here’s why:

1. Jenni Byrne has helped to elevate Canada’s stature in the world.

2. She has spearheaded a political party’s war on the dregs of society – the young, the elderly, the poor, women, Natives, people of colour, progressives, alternative views, the environment and our peace of mind.

3. Byrne has employed every cheap trick in the book to get her party elected. Her adherence to the Republican bag of dirty tricks has turned the tide on Canada’s history of fair play and honest campaigning. We needed to be waken up. Thanks Jenni!

4. She has ensured that Canada no longer features the pristine environment that once lured tourists from foreign shores and caused oohs and awes the world over. With oil spills galore, tar sands puking black dust and pipelines up the yazoo, we will soon no longer have to deal with pesky tourists and foreign accents coming up here, stealing looks at our scenery and spending foreign dough at former tourist spots.

5. Jenni has introduced a whole new level of security for Canadian citizens: spies are being deployed to halt opposing views; laws are being introduced to penalize dirty fucking hippies; prisons are being built to house pot-smoking young delinquents.

It goes on and on. But if I bring up more points on behalf of Ms. Byrne, someone will pick up the clue and nominate her for a Nobel Peace Prize. She deserves that much. But Conservatives hate that prize. It comes with the word, “peace”. Not so Conservative.

X-posted at Let Freedom Rain