Babs Kay And Robyn Urback, By Denying a Rape Culture Exists, You’re Actually Contributing to It

Real consent is mutual and sure. It is not muted, frail, hesitant, or afraid. It is never uncertain, assumed, or silent.

Consent cannot be gained through manipulation, intimidation, or threatening behaviour. A person who is intoxicated with alcohol or drugs can’t give consent. Consent cannot be given by a person who is passed out or asleep. Consent must be continuous and can be withdrawn at any time during sex.

Sex without enthusiastic consent is not sex at all. It’s sexual assault or rape.

Make sure everyone is into it before you get into it.

This should be pretty straight forward for anyone who knows how to read.  Furthermore, there is nothing new in that — it should be known behaviour. However, the scary thing is that those like Babs and her colleague, Robyn Urback at the Nasty Post appear to be confused.  Their articles are completely unbalanced, of course. Nowhere have they ever mentioned the trauma on a woman/girl who was the victim of rape /sexual assault.  I don’t think that was their point.  In fact, both Babs and Robyn appear to live in a world of denial, to read what they’re saying. Both basically say that a rape culture does not exist simply because very few assaults are reported.  The fact is that many incidents do go unreported due to a myriad of reasons — coercion, fear,  misguided guilt and shame for something that was through no fault of their own, or afraid of how judges and the police will treat them (that isn’t without merit - see Judge Robert Dewar’s decision in Manitoba and Police officer at Osgoode Hall telling women basically to ‘stop being sluts’, which as we know, precipitated nationwide Slut Walks).

Let’s take a look at Robyn’s confusion, shall we?

But the Forum on Consent takes the consent conundrum to an entirely new level by suggesting that a meek “yes,” or a nonchalant “yes,” or a “yes” without emphatic body language does not constitute consent. According to the panel “It must be loud and clear.”

Don’t know about you, Babs and Robyn, but it’s pretty straight forward to me and it should be for men and women alike.  Men should know that if they’re not sure if the woman is completely enthused, then they should not bother.  A no brainer, really.

Meanwhile, ol’ Babs denies there exists a rape culture outright.  

The fact is that “rape culture” is a form of popular mania like so many others before it. It does not exist. Or if it does, nobody has yet brought forward evidence of it.

Uh Babs, what rock have you been hiding under, say the last five decades or so? The Frosh week of pro-rape chants promoting the assault of  underage girls at St-Mary’s University in Halifax? Or the subsequent similar event at UBC? Or more recently, how’s about his exchange between sociopathic knuckleheads expressing a desire to violently assault the president of the University of Ottawa student Federation, 24 year old Anne-Marie Roy?

I’m not going to paste the exchange here as I don’t think it is necessary. Anyone who is morbidly curious can click the link above.

First, the cast of characters involved in this sordid mess:

Bart Tremblay: a non-elected student involved with the association for the Arts faculty

Alexandre Giroux: On the board of directors of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa, and VP Social for the Science Student Association

Alex Larochelle: VP Social for the Criminology Student Association

Pat Marquis: VP Social of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa

Michel Fournier-Simard: VP Social for the Political Science and International developement Association

Yes, a criminology student no less.  Now there’s a comforting thought.

Pat Marquis, the school’s esteemed VP, has  gotten himself in trouble before–that time, it was slamming Aboriginals.  Something tells me that his last words expressing misogyny won’t be the last time he gets himself into it.

These esteemed members of the student federation along with one unelected individual were expressing the sick fantasy of violently raping Anne-Marie Roy.  This is clearly rape culture. Nothing ambiguous here.  It is being looked into by University of Ottawa officials.  A Facebook page has been set up to demand the resignation of the above mentioned members and to condemn other rape culture apologists.

I’ve noticed that Babs Kay, who’s drivel was published today makes no mention of the incident despite the fact it was all over Twitter.  Neither does Robyn’s.  Not one mention.  Furthermore, Babs makes no mention of the Frosh week incidents at St-Mary’s or at UBC. Robyn makes some mention of those incidents, but what is ghoulish is that she does not condemn them.  Seeing how the article is written, it looks like she doesn’t  believe the incidents occurred or that they were harmless.

This attention to sexual consent comes after a school year consumed by stories of campus sexual assault. In September, St. Mary’s University in Halifax came under fire after its frosh leaders were recorded leading a pro-rape chant. Days later, a similar story came out of the University of British Columbia. A series of sexual assaults were later reported at UBC, along with a couple of incidents at York University in Toronto. At McGill, campus advocates launched a petition after learning that three of the university’s football players were facing sexual assault charges. Though the players quit the team after the news of their charges was made public in November, members of McGill’s Union for Gender Empowerment blamed the university for failing to take an active role against “systemic forms of rape culture” on campus.

So Robyn Urback seems to have a problem with folks reporting more and more of these incidents. Nice. Klassy.

As for Anne-Marie Roy, she is continuing to bravely speak out about what happened to her.  What does she get for her trouble? More threats.  This time, a lawsuit from Michel Fournier-Simard, Alexandre Giroux, Alexandre Larochelle and Robert-Marc Tremblay if Anne-Marie Roy does not destroy the online chats and sharing them with others.

Robyn Urback, instead of being confused about the word “yes” or about “body language” and lamenting those ‘poor men';  how’s about standing up with women like Anne-Marie Roy and other victims who speak out? A little more empathy.

As for Babs Kay, she is stuck on ‘faulty stats’  or low stats or whatever, still don’t really get it. She’ll basically continue to lament how feminism ruined her life.

I remembered when I had told acquaintances  one Monday that I had participated in Slut Walk Montreal,  the initial reaction from both women and men was of scandal in their midst. The first questions often asked that day was if I participated wearing only my underwear or what was I wearing parading the streets of Downtown Montreal.  Seriously. No questions about what happened at the rally,  whether or not consciousness was raised.  Seriously.  Furthermore, I got the lecture, again, from both men and women, that women should not dress so provocatively and they should behave in a manner that, well, ‘doesn’t put them at risk’.   Sadly typical response. However,  I was surprised that so many had this reaction to my participating in such an event, especially in this day and age when at least, most of us are supposed to know better.  There were fewer men and women who actually praised me.  We need another nationwide Slut Walk or a similar event; the message is still not getting through to many.

Babs Kay held fast to the typical anti-feminist mantra complete with patronizing garbage:

So relax ladies. Although there should never be sexual assaults on any woman on campus, there is no need to panic. Moreover, it is fair comment to observe that those women students who do not drink to excess, who are prudent about the kind of parties they attend, and who are selective about their sexual partners in general will doubtless reduce their odds much further, down to statistically nugatory levels.

Dr. Dawg over at his place explains  the meaning of rape culture well.  Whether it’s judges like Robert Dewar who gave an extremely lenient sentence to a convicted rapist or police officers preaching to university students to not be so “slutty” or the promotion of sexual assaults and the lack of condemnation of such acts, there is no denying that there is a frightening rape culture and not just on university campuses.  It is growing. Hell,  it should give us pause when Robin Thicke’s song, “Blurred Lines”, a song that could incite sexual assault, makes it to the top of the charts (many disagree with me on this. Here are the lyrics if you’re morbidly curious) Yes, apologists and enablers and deniers like Babs Kay and Robyn Urback, not only is there rape culture, but with drivel such those you published recently, you are a contributor to the rape culture.

Babs, perhaps you should spend some time at the Montreal Sexual Assault Centre or with CAVAC or if you like hanging out at McGill so much, perhaps you should stop by the Student Assault Centre of McGill Student Society.  Robyn, please do the same in your area.  Spend some time at these places.  You both need a serious education.

Oh, and instead of the patronizing women should watch what they dress or how they behave or not drink so much, is not only insulting to women, but it should be insulting to men as well — it implies that men are incapable of controlling their own behaviour.