Top ten things right wingers believe have a liberal bias

3. The internet. Or, more specifically websites on the internet. Read 4 and 5 below.

4. Wikipedia. Did you know Wikipedia is rife with liberal bias? Yes! At least that’s what the right thinks. This user-driven device is run by lefties who present facts and unpleasant realities. Let’s face it righties, facts have a definite liberal bias.

5. Google. Because your average Joe winger sometimes does not get the results he wants from a search item, there can only be one reason. Yep, ‘liberal bias’!

6. Books. You know where many books reside? The library. Judging by Rob Ford’s denigration of such an institution, libraries are not popular with right wingers. And look – all those books with facts challenge the ideology and teachings of their youth. What escapes your everyday winger is that it takes intelligence, wit and facts to write a book, especially those that reside in the non-fiction section. If you ever want to avoid a winger, go immediately to this section of a library.

7. Climate. Perhaps I’m being a little too optimistic here but it seems more and more righties are accepting that climate change is real. But never forget, it’s not because of man. The global warming crowd is doing what the liberals do to just about every institution; they bring facts, statistics and overwhelming evidence to the party, all three of which really piss off conservatives. Who will tell you that just because 95 percent of scientists claim that climate change is not only real but caused by man, that’s just an inconvenient roadblock. Which brings us to number 8.

8. Scientists. As indicated above, nothing pisses off a rightist more than being confronted with science and factual evidence. As the Romney campaign has shown us, the hard right don’t need no stinkin’ facts. They just get in the way of a good ideology. All we need to know is in the bible. Scientists are here with one objective in mind – spread the Maoist doctrine subliminally through facts, data and research. Beware the secular scientist. For science is the destroyer of superstition and fantasy, two essentials in the intellectual diet of a right winger. (I won’t go into how wingers believe that science is actually a weapon in the war on religion.)

9. Professors. A long-time thorn in the side of conservatives is the education system, especially in the higher echelons of learning – the university. Righties have long championed the idea that universities are breeding grounds for liberals and progressives. Right wingers are certain that students are surrounded by liberal propaganda, the sole purpose of which is to influence young people to take up a radical life.10. Teachers. This is a relatively new charge of liberal bias. There is only one person who is capable of teaching us and that his lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Anybody else is just an overpaid blasphemer and false prophet. Children should be taught at home by their parents, not by some wild-eyed union member whose only role in life to spread evil liberal ideology, work half a day, lounge in the off hours by the pool at their mansion and munch on Foie Gras.

10. Teachers. This is a relatively new charge of liberal bias. There is only one person who is capable of teaching us and that his lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Anybody else is just an overpaid blasphemer and false prophet. Children should be taught at home by their parents, not by some wild-eyed union member whose only role in life to spread evil liberal ideology, work half a day, lounge in the off hours by the pool at their mansion and munch on Foie Gras.

UPDATE: You’ll notice I left out some obvious choices, mainly because I didn’t think of them at the time. Other candidates include: Unions, gays, the poor, Natives, people of colour, the environment, Muslims, Barack Hussein Obama, unfavourable polls, peace, hippies, Occupy, truth, atheists, the present, the future, etc.

UPDATE II: Turning on the PC this morning, I see I have a new Twitter follower with the handle, @ LiberalBias.com . So I visited the Tweeter’s blog and was delighted to find a witty (in the driest sense of wit – I had to read the blog for several minutes before it sank in that LiberalBias is a satirical site) and faux conservative blog. I’ll be a regular visitor from now on. Good job, LiberalBias!
X-posted at Let Freedom Rain