I Stand Corrected, Why So Shocked Bevie Odeous Keeps Her Old Job? And Other Musical Cabinet Chair Games

Well, the mystery has now been revealed. Stevie Spiteful’s new 38 seat cabinet, same as his last cabinet while still in minority–a number he once slammed Paul Martin for as too big.  But, as we know,  in Harperland, what’s good for the goose ain’t necessarily good for the gander.

For openers, I stand corrected. I did post a piece speculating, as a few others have, about a Liberal MP crossing the floor to the Harpercons in exchange for a trip directly to cabinet, a la David Emerson. I had suggested that it might’ve been Irwin Cotler. Well, it turns out that Cotler did not cross the floor. In fact, no Liberal, nor any other MP, for that matter, has crossed the floor. If Stevie Spiteful attempted to lure anyone, no one took the bate.  For that, I am thankful for small favours.

On to the festivities!

It seems that many are surprised that Bevie Odeous remains in Cida. In fact, many speculated that Chris Alexander would’ve been awarded that portfolio for having trounced one of the Harpercons’ most hated Liberal incumbents, Mark Holland.  I guess not.  But, hey! Why so shocked that Stevie would continue to reward a woman who was clearly found responsible for the doctoring of documents?  After all, the voters of Durham rewarded her with a landslide, proving they’re more than peachy keen with the document doctoring, so why wouldn’t Stevie keep her there? 

Now, here’s a newly created post; Associate minister of defense, awarded to Robocop Fantino. Rob Silver on Twitter put it best, I think:

Being named Associate Minister of Defense is kind of like being runner up at the Miss America contest…

Can anyone top that?  So, Robocop Fantino, who’s old enough to be Petey McKay’s (remains in defense) Pappy, who’s been a boss for the better part of two decades in law enforcement, is going to be Petey McKay’s subordinate?  This should be fun to watch.  For openers, Petey McKay, who has proven he can be a loose cannon in the past will have to basically babysit another potential loose cannon.  

As expected, the pit-bull, John Baird goes to foreign affairs.  Yup! Jymn, I’m with you there, somebody better warn Hillary Clinton that the thunder about roll and the tornado a comin’ and the earth a quakin’ is simply John Baird”s arrival. Oh, and they’re saying on Twitter that the pitbull says that he will ‘respect freedom and human rights abroad’. That’s just precious! Now if only he can defend those things here, in Canada.  As Gerry Nicholls says,  the minister of:

…those foreigners better like it or else.

Most pretty much remain as they were, I guess, to promote that nice stability and continuity Stevie Spiteful was incessantly preaching about.

I guess the punditry would be shocked that new MPs from Ontario, Chris Alexander and Kellie Leitch are not going to cabinet.  New MP, Peter Penashue from Newfoundland and Laborador is straight to intergovernmental affairs.

Another shock to many, I’m sure, and even your’s truly, is that Stevie Spiteful didn’t really bring that much more representation from  Ford Nation. At least, not what many would’ve been hoping for. Only Joe Oliver, who unseated long time Liberal incumbent, Joe Volpe, in Eglinton-Lawrence goes to cabinet.  He scored points for actually being from around the Downtown Toronto area.

Peter Kent remains in environment, which, now that a majority has been achieved and a Harpercon infestation of Toronto has taken place, what would be the new job description?  Continuing to promote Ezzy Levant’s book on “Ethical Oil”? 

Minister of state of women is still unimportant for Stevie as Rona Ambrose and her farm hair will still be performing double duty with public works and if she has time, you know, look into that women’s issues thing.

Also, it looks like Stevie Spiteful is ignoring many of the pundits who are basically suggesting he tell Quebec to fuck themselves, basically. Four of the five who remained, including black sheep, Ex-Lax Max Bernier are all going to the big house to play reindeer games too. 

Ex-Lax Max gets a junior post in small business and tourism, guess Stevie thought it was something he can’t really screw up. Oh just wait! Our male Sarah Palin will surely find a way. 

Denis Lebel of Roberval gets a promotion to transport.

Stephen Blaney of Levis-Bellechasse gets Jean-Pierre Blackburn’s old job at veteran’s affairs. 

Christian Paradis, who helped build an unneeded sports complex in Lac Megantic, out of his many acts, goes to industry. How nice for him! No doubt, the mayor of Lac Megantic must be ecstatic, as she can continue to cozy up to Paradis to help fund her grandiose dreams for the town.

One has to wonder what Stevie Spiteful is up to, promoting  four out of five of his MPs who survived in la Belle Province, yet, not really giving that much more representation that he had in the previous cabinet, to Ontario, and certainly not to Ford Nation (It’s what Toronto is known as nowadays, apparently)?  Weird!

All I can say now is Gawd Speed for the next 4 years or so!

Get the list of new cabinet here.  If you’re in the mood for something more like comic relief, read Gerry Nicholls’ take here.