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Updated Fox News North line-up

Early in September, I predicted what a typical night of Fox News North programming would look like. Here’s an adjusted prediction, based on today’s confirmation of the hiring of Ezrant and Krista Erickson.

Midnight -3 pm – Off the air.

3-6 pm - Watch My Legs – Blonde Krista Erickson does her best Megyn Kelly impression. Big male audience. In FNN’s answer to the liberal girls’ show, ‘The View’, Krista is joined by fellow hosts Bev Oda, Barbara Kay, Karla Homolka and Kory Teneycke.

6 pm - Mike Duffy’s World – How to prorogue in seven easy steps. How to model a tux. Mike pitches his new book, “How to Get a Senate Appointment Just For Being a Jerk but Mostly by Being a Media Conservative Shill.”

7 pm - Gotcha! – Debate: “Are we too tough on the military?” Guests: from the right, Colonel David Russell in solitary and from the left, Jonathan Kay and his mom. Don Cherry presents Russell with medal. Host: Blazing Cat Fur.

8 pm - Ezra Levant Show – Tonight’s topic: Spot the anti-Semite. Islamophobic poem from Kathy Shaidle. Andrew Coyne smokes a pipe. Contest: Count the Lies – a signed copy of Ezra’s latest book, Unethical Boils, goes to person who can identify the most lies in tonight’s show!

9 pm – Lorrie’s Lair Lorrie Goldstein presents doctored videos to make liberals look bad. Phone interview with Andrew Breitbart. Rachel (“I ain’t no Rachel Maddow”) Marsden does a strip tease.  She’s today’s FNNshine Girl!

10 pm - Rex Murphy’s Wide World of Wrestling – Special guest Republican candidate and WWE honcho Linda McMahon.  Christie Blatchford and Rex perform half a dozen provocative squats.

11 pm – Midnight – Reruns of The Friendly Giant. Warning: Mature Subject Matter. Language, Nudity (Rusty and Jerome) and violence. Offspring Advisory.

1 comment to Updated Fox News North line-up

  • ck

    Damn! Had I known you were going to post this just earlier, I would have held off on my more dark and depressing piece on “Compassionate” Rethuglicans” until tomorrow!

    I’m having a coughing fit now from all that laughing! Who said Fox News North wouldn’t be fun? Jymn, you should apply for a job as program director.

    Yes, gotta be careful now; what would Jerome and Rusty be up to, so late at night?