![[small-web-version_harperfree_poster.jpg]](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/_WGczmWu7Wwc/SdCJyy2LN1I/AAAAAAAABWE/ABYCkbJaKaQ/s1600/small-web-version_harperfree_poster.jpg)
The people of BC have been polling at 80% against pipelines and tankers off the coast for years. Since the Seventies in fact. Last week, the PostMedia admitted that Harper’s vision of pipelines to the coast and tankers from there to China, are dead in the water (so to speak).
So they must’ve all got together in some backroom somewhere in Cowtown and written a play.
It goes something like this.
Act IChristy Clark, in a demure outfit that brings out her eyes, which almost brim with tears, Lights, cameras roll…Stomping a well heeled foot and shaking a tiny, bejeweled fist in the air, she declares,“Well, fiddle-dee-dee! British Columbians will not stand for this deal! This is Not Acceptable!! We have a bottom line!!!”Cut to Alison Redford, strangely attired in a severe black turtleneck, layered with a utilitarian working class apron, feverishly flipping flapjacks in the glaring Calgary sun. Grimly, she mutters between clenched lips that “Alberta will not share Royalties! This is unconstitutional!! The Nerve!!!”
Let us pause here, I’m sure you, gentle reader, need a breath of fresh air. Deep breaths. And a shot of that Pure Alberta Vodka. Now, we can see that what these actresses are doing is reframing the question, from
“Where the hell does Clark stand on these issues that are so vital to the future of our Province?”,
to…
“What’s in it for us?”
While commentary in the press and their comment threads obediently change tack and ask the wrong question, inevitably the tone of these threads deteriorates quickly into divisive, sophomoric personal and regional attacks. According to the plan. There is an element of Good Cop/ Bad Cop here which is designed to play well in both provinces, with BC (allegedly) calmed by the sudden appearance of our notPremier, eyes flashing, like Scarlet O’Hara defending her beloved Tara, juxtaposed against Meryl Streep’s Iron Lady, defending her homeland against the Communist/Socialist hoardes and you begin to get the plot.
Act II ushers in the Law. The big Guns ride into town on the four horses of the Apochalypse, led by Sheriff Stephen Harper, resplendent in his white Stetson and completed by the silver star badge proudly displayed on his blue flannel shirt. His flinty eyes squint into the relentless Alberta glare as his thin lips purse into a resolute line. His hair, a helmet of patriarichal perfection and control, his lips, however, betray a pink moistness like lipgloss.Flanked by his henchman/deputies.Jason Kenney rides shotgun, a little dazed by his meteoric rise to the posse.Baird, in hot pursuit, mouth wide open as he roars his anger into the still Alberta air. His eyes, a baleful, narrow glare.Little Jimmy Flaherty brings up the rear of the posse on a mule, flask of Irish Whiskey in one hand. Mark Carney’s balls in the other.Daddy has come to mete out his punishment.
What does Act III hold for us, dear reader? Will Daddy spank these naughty premiers? Will they all hug and kiss and make up in an orgy of capitalism, played out in an oily, yet abrasively orgasmic crescendo of greed?
Or will the spirits of Chief Dan George and Harriet Nahanni rally the spirit of British Columbians to rise up against the tide of Fascism and defeat the forces of evil?
Tune in next time to find out…
OMG..It is brilliant..and hilarious..and sadly, true!! You nailed it Kim!! The Flaherty bit has me ROFLMAO!!!!
Kim Reply:
July 26th, 2012 at 1:31 AM
Sad, but true…
Toooooo funny… she says, splitting a gut! The only drawback Christy has is that “she don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no pipeline”…
Kim Reply:
July 26th, 2012 at 9:54 PM
This blogpost was brought to you by the letter”G”.
You forgot that our own Jimmy Moore would have to be in the posse and of course Clement would stay home in Ontaryioh to guard his gazebos.
One has to admit that the Enbridge Gateway would eventually lead to full employment in the North, cleaning up, or trying (or pretending) to clean up dil-bit here, dil-bit there a whole lot of dil-bit everywhere. Of course the taxpayers would likely be footing the bill as the Chinese and other foreign profiteers would likely be long gone, re-named or somehow immune to accountability, even if just keeping it in court forever ala Exxon Valdez were the strategy.
There is no price acceptable to this potential martyr for BeeCee…………we may need more killing sprees, they just need to be more targeted at the actual bad guys, rather than random folks at a block party or theatre.
Kim Reply:
July 26th, 2012 at 10:16 PM
Yes Kootcoot, full employment at what cost to our grandchildren? Makes you want to scream. Or shoot something. Rhetorically, of course.
“Little Jimmy Flaherty brings up the rear of the posse on a mule, flask of Irish Whiskey in one hand. Mark Carney’s balls in the other.”
OMG, so perfect and hilarious.
Kim Reply:
July 26th, 2012 at 10:18 PM
Lol, I liked the image. But maybe it’s the other way around, given Mark Carney’s CV with Goldmann Sachs…
Nice one Kim!
And we can only wonder…..
Will ‘NW run the radio-play version?
.
Kim Reply:
July 26th, 2012 at 11:14 PM
One never knows these days RossK. Just this morning Ezra Levant was on ‘NW, piming his shit and he was getting major flack from the hack!
Kim Reply:
July 26th, 2012 at 11:16 PM
pimping, sorry.
Harper is permitting Communist China to buy up the tar sands. China is permitted to bring their own people to work the tar sands. Harper is even allowing, China to brings swarms over, to build the Enbridge pipeline. And no, Canadians don’t get the refining jobs. Those jobs too, go to Communist China. If the takeover of the tar sands goes to Communist China, don’t depend on jobs for Canadians. The more cheap the labor in the tar sands, all the bigger the profits, for comrade Harper and Premier Redford.
Communist China is creating trouble all around the globe, with their aggression. They have hacked into other country’s secret files. They sold infected electronic components. The U.S. missiles and other weapons had infected components, they purchased from Communist China.
The citizens of BC owe, Harper, Enbridge, Premier Redford, and Communist China, squat. Especially with ANOTHER Enbridge pipe burst in Wisconsin on Friday.
Kim Reply:
July 29th, 2012 at 10:50 PM
@Julie.
Exactly.
Now. The question is, “What are we prepared to do about it?”